A mature woman in her 70’s contacted me after having found my flyer for Ortho-Bionomy®. When we spoke on the phone, she appeared cautious and apprehensive, but underlying her tone she really wanted to see me. I tuned into her resistance, and found it to be more a sense of despair–a chance I wouldn’t be able to help her in the way she felt she needed and her fear that anyone touching her may only make her condition worse.
Nonetheless, she admitted she was drawn to me and in the end booked a session.
She arrived early with her husband and sat down in the waiting room, I was just finishing another client’s session.
As I walked my client out and closed the office door, I greeted my new client– all 90 pounds of her, armored in a rather large fluffy sweater coat, and hiding under an oversized hat with a large brim. There she sat, pensively and with a blank state, her dutiful husband next to her. “Hello,” I said and suggested they come into my office pointing them in the right direction. Neither moved from the couch; usually, people get up from the waiting room in anticipation of getting into my session room and rush right onto the table! But not her.
Observing their behavior, I sat down in the waiting room with them. “Odd,” I said to myself, but formulated no opinion or judgment and certainly no agenda about how to proceed. I just became really quiet and trusted, not only in myself, but also in this woman, that she knew what she needed and wanted to tell me.
She did most of the talking. He only interjected when she needed him to explain what happens to her when she gets triggered within her very core; unable to explain it and what goes on when she leaves her body. She explained that she completely freezes and goes into an unconscious state of mind and leaves her body when faced with a trigger she can’t handle. When she comes out of that state, she has no recollection of what has happened and therefore needs him to give her an account of what happened to her when she goes into that state. This couple has been married for more than 30 years. She proceeded to tell me some “over the years” details, pertaining to the reason she was coming to see me for help, which included the downfall of their sex life and relevant relationship issues due to the extensiveness of rape and incest by her father that began prior to her first birthday and never ceased throughout her early life. I couldn’t conceive of what she endured, but I listened intently. As she proceeded to unfold much of her life and how she has processed so much of it out already, there were only a few deep seeded lingering pieces left, and that was why she was coming to me. I wanted to ask her, “Perhaps you are looking for a Psychiatrist? How do you propose I can assist you?” But, I hesitated to say anything. I knew I could help. I’ve been where she was, in that moment. In my silence I could hear her crying out for help as I once heard myself cry out. She not only needed to talk, but she also needed to be heard!
Having learned the universe works in mysterious ways, she was here with me for a reason, and if the truth be told, I just needed to listen.
After the personal details, she segued into her trust and safety issues and told me as they walked in my office, she noticed there wasn’t enough privacy for a client like her to feel comfortable—Without a flicker of change in her emotional state, she immediately requested that the office door be locked in order for her to not feel vulnerable while in session with me. And, she asked if I would be ok with that? I offered not only to lock the door, but to close the blinds and also book extra time in between her an my next client so that no one would even try to walk in on her, even if the door was locked. I then asked her directly, “Would that help you feel safer?” She smiled, and said, “Oh, thank you, yes, that would make me feel very safe, thank you for doing that for me.” I took a breath, she smiled; PROGRESS! I smiled.
After 45 minutes of conversing with me that first visit, she looked at her husband and said, “Well, that was great,” turned towards me and then smiled once again. She stood up and he followed her lead. I was shocked. That was it? We’re done? All I could say was, “Ok great!” and stood up as well. She said she would call me once she processed our conversation. She paid me for my full 90 minute session and left the office smiling.
Something deep inside of her shifted, and something deep inside me shifted as well. I know this because she called for a session and I was better prepared to do NOTHING!
When she arrived the next time, her husband was with her again. “Just in case something happens,” she said. She wanted him to be there to remind her.
I locked the door, and began to shut the blinds. They actually walked into my office, but chose to sit in chairs. So, I followed them in and sat in mine at the desk.
For the next 75 minutes she talked and talked. I listened and listened. I even took out a note pad because I said to myself, “fit the part, takes notes like a shrink would, even if you’re not one, act like one, this way you can follow her and respond accordingly in case she asks you to comment on something,” whatever that meant, as I have had no schooling in psychiatry. Ha! But what I have had training in is Ortho-Bionomy, real life and my own personal experience of trauma and abuse and knowing what it means to not only get to talk and be heard but to also have someone not try to fix me. Nothing, was the best and only thing I could do for her. It was all that was necessary in that moment. I attentively sat there, tuned into her and from what must have been guilt, I felt a need to do something, so I started to draw spirals on the notepad. Unconsciously, I fell into phase 6. She shared accounts of rape by her father. Her mother not listening to her nor acknowledging what was happening. Her fear of talking about it to anyone else let alone getting in trouble for trying to get help to understand why these things were happening to her as a little girl. Her realization that she had to accept that this was how things had to be and about her strong relationship with God and that this was what God wanted, but knowing all along, that inside something wasn’t right about that scenario. Not feeling grounded, the loss of sensation in her genitals, leg cramping at night, she went on and on and on. When suddenly, out of nowhere, she popped up and said, “Ok, I’m ready to get on your table.” I panicked! Now what was I going to do? I had to shift from Psychiatrist to pure unconscious Ortho-Bionomy Phase 6’ing to now …What? I had to put my hands on her? How was I going to do that? I wanted to ask her to please just sit back down and keep talking, because that felt safer to me. But she got on my table fast, and I immediately felt I had to do something, so I stood up and tried to approach the table, but couldn’t. I was stuck in my spot and was standing near her head. It felt so uncomfortable for me that I said to her, “I think I’m going to move to the other end of the table and stand near your feet, so you can see me, would that be ok with you?” She replied, “Yes, that would be good. I don’t like where you are. I want to be able to see you.” I went to the other end of the table. “I’m about a foot away from the table; does this feel safer for you now?” She hesitated; I took a step further away, and asked again, “is this even safer now?” I saw she was processing something. I took another step away and moved completely out of my office and into the waiting room, she said with her eyes closed, “Oh yeah, that’s great.” I stood there, in the waiting room and did nothing, but hold the space for her. Her husband watched and she proceeded to process her own stuff.
In about 10 minutes she got off the table just as fast as she got on it and said, “Wow! That was great! You’re incredible!” Huh? I did nothing.
Two days later I got a card in the mail from her. It said, “Thank you for the amazing work you did. You are truly gifted and I’m grateful to have met you. I look forward to our future sessions.”
Sometimes doing nothing is doing a lot more than you think. But what was it she was looking for?
At the very core we are living beings with the knowledge and desire to feel good. At a cellular level, the body’s own intelligence is always trying to find homeostasis and establish balance within itself. No one wants to be beaten or have their feeling hurt. Yet, most of us have experienced those feelings in some way or form. Regardless of the intensity, trauma of any kind affects our being on many levels and impacts every system of our body.
There are many types of bodywork approaches that claim to help heal at the core. Many are also taught that through the use of force the body will change. In my experience, and the world of Ortho-Bionomy quite opposite is true. Anything forced goes against its own natural law of life and will become resistant. We do not force anything in Ortho-Bionomy; we encourage and offer the body a little bit of information. Sometimes, we even do nothing. And in the nothingness, so much happens, and the chance of self recognition is exposed. Once something is observed, it can change. The body, when being ordered to do something, will retort with resistance. But given encouragement, some room to expand, a chance to explore itself, explore the request and suggestion of new information, the brain and body together, and neural patterning will have a chance to re-recognize each other, communicate again, rewire and stand a better chance to find a path to self correct.
In the Ortho-Bionomy tool belt, we have neither agenda nor protocols to follow. We have a list of principles that are our tools and we gain knowledge based on our personal interests, abilities and skills. Although we are taught how to touch, we’ve also learned that sometimes it is neither necessary nor possible. And to force that upon someone would be more harmful than helpful. As we refine our skills we become better listeners—and, in OB we learn how to listen to ourselves, first. It is from that place of silence and trust that we can hear our client begging to be heard, and not necessarily be fixed. This alone, can be paramount to a person’s own emotional healing process which then flows into the physical body’s ability to heal. We all need to feel empowered and desire the chance to explore what is bubbling inside without facing judgment and being made to feel worse than we may already do.
For me, at times, OB has become a sociological approach, to not only myself, but my clients and to the entire world surrounding me. OB goes beyond working on a body. It’s not even working with a body; it’s working with a being, a living breathing cellularly structured being–An amazing being that is programmed for survival in a relentless world.
Physician, “Know Thyself.” A deeper understanding of me means a deeper understanding of my client. When I am quiet inside I can hear more, listen better. I am at my core and can meet a client where they need to be met.
I see myself in others and can see them in me. We become one although completely separate beings having different yet similar experiences. As my client heals, I heal myself. As I build on that sense of trust, I become less afraid even though I may not have a landing pad in place.
How do you heal from the core?
Ortho-Bionomy® – The correct application of the laws of life.
Practical and physically applied homeopathy.
Nina Joy Rizzo
Hands That Hear You